Attracting the right person
So often people have been in this sort of situation – ‘I absolutely long for to find someone – I’ll try online – that seems easy!’, but when they go and start their search, they fall into some major pitfalls!
Right from the moment you register your details online, you are essentiallymarketing yourself!
Everything you pen, the way your photo looks and any video or audio clips are giving away loads of messages that people are often unwitting of.
Quite often I’ve been shown clips from people I’ve coached which seem to give the hidden clue ‘I’m desperate!’. Clearly this isn’t what they say , but it is what comes across.
So here are some strategies to help you be successful in the online dating game. Some of these come from principles in NLP.
1: Be content with you prior to looking for someone else
Many people start looking for someone to make THEM happy . The most successful people in the dating game are the people who are content with themselves before approachingsomeone else. When we look for someone else to make us happy, but are totally not happy inside, this gets unwittingly projected onto other people and they pick up mixed signals in our relating.
2: Be confident in yourself – Recognise what you are good at and enjoy doing
Confident people radiate charisma. Some people muse upon that we are born with charisma, but it completely is something that might be developed.
There are lots of ways to build resourcefulness – one way is to regularly take time to acknowledge your brilliant qualities, abilities and features . Frequently we discount the good things we do and don’t take the time to build our own confidence . Frequently when I work with people seeking hypnotherapy in London to help build their confidence , they come in absolutely lacking courage and could totally metamorphose their lives within a short space of time when they build their courage . Take up a sport, get fit, get some hypnotherapy, go on an NLP training or take up public speaking classes – there are lots of ways to develop courage , but you need to get out there and do it!
3: Write out your profile before it goes live
Write out your profile and show it together with your photos to several people whose opinion you trust before letting it go ‘live’. Ask them what their initial impressions are and what advice they might give you about what might be changed to attract the sort of person you long for.
4: Be flexible! Don’t be too restrictive in your selections of the other people !
I have a friend who had such stringent standards as ‘he must have 2 degrees, be hunky and sensitive’ and even must only settle for specific hair colour. She is still looking 5 years later ! Know the things that are most crucial to you in another person and make sure your profile attracts this sort of person. But at the same time, make sure you’re not too restrictive in your criteria for finding someone else.
5: Build rapport
We tend to like those people who are most like us. So when initially meeting another person totally take an interest in them. center on finding out about them rather than just shareing them about you. Follow these principles and you’ll be well on your way to a outstanding relationship!
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