relationshiptrouble.org

The fact is marriage isn’t always easy. But it can be.  Marriage is usually considered as the end of a happy relationship by most people. The truth is if you love someone completely then it shouldn’t be hard. What causes more marriage problems than anything else is when both partners trying to please the other. In fact, most marital problems occur when the couple believes that marriage should be effortless. It shouldn’t take so much energy to make your marriage work, and if it does then you may very well have a problem.

First of all, couples need to realize that you are two separate people. Surprisingly, most married people think that they are suddenly one person. While figuratively that is a nice concept, it isn’t realistic as a whole. You are two different people. Remember that when it comes to opinions, ideas, and likes and dislikes. Your marriage will thank you.

Keep finances in perspective. As individuals you have the right to keep your finances separate, but you should both know what is going on with both ends. If he is spending all of the money on unnecessary things, you deserve to know. This works for the man if his wife is spending uncontrollably as well. Lay down the line when it comes to finances so that there are no surprises. This will alleviate stress for both of you later on.

Be sure that you have definitions for what is hurtful and what isn’t. He may do something that deeply hurts your feelings without realizing it. This could be anything significant or insignificant. Let him know what may cause you to get upset ahead of time so that he can minimize hurting you.

For every wife I offer this advice, please remember that he married YOU. Whether you feel like you are still the woman men adore to your husband, the fact that you are his wife is very significant.  He married you because you are the person that he is compatible with and gets along with. If you start suddenly changing then there is going to be rocky roads ahead. But if you stay true to yourself then your marriage will flourish. It is natural to change as you get older, but dramatic differences can be hurtful to a relationship.

Let each other have time alone. Distance does make the heart grow fonder, as long as it isn’t constant separation. Do your own things so he doesn’t have to be the one to always go shopping with you. It is good to have friendships outside of marriage. He doesn’t have to be on a leash, and neither do you.

I offer relationship advice to women every week in my counselilng practice. I have found that once a woman realizes the power she has over her husband, it then becomes fairly effortless for her to influence him.  Never forget, understanding your value as a wife is the key to successful relationship. This will keep your mind and heart open and allow you to go so much further in your marriage than you thought possible.